its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
time to smoke my breakfast
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
