just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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