So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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