I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
