My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
