you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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