I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
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