god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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