i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
