yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
