stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
