I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
