Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize