Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
