I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
