Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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