I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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