Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
