You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
