the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
