This girl is more easily done than said...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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