I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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