I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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