I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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