im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
