my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
