awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
