My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Small penises have feelings too.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
