Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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