its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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