id be glad to
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
