She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize