I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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