at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
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No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
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I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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