I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
