wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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