I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
