check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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