Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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