remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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