Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
