Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
