He asked to "fluff my boner.."
there was a trapeze. enough said
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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