just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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