I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
