It's Friday. Sex?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
