"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
