we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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