Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
