Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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