I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
is wine microwaveable?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
