Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
