Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
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Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
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You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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