I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
high people should be assigned attendants
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
