just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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