So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I skipped work to stalk him.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
