if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
