Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
