I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
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I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
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And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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