I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
operation have a gay friend backfired
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize