So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
40s are totally the cure
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
