I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize