Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
4 words: hood of his car
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
