If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
